Helping Your Kids To Know They Are Loved

If you have decided the adoption process is what you want to pursue, you need to be ready for challenges and rewards that are coming your way. 

1. Adoption Doesn't Have to Be Expensive 

First, you need to understand that adoption does not have to be an expensive process. If you go through an international adoption, the process can be expensive. Private adoption, especially if you cover the birth mother's medical bills, can also be more expensive.  

However, adopting a child from foster care is not expensive. There are children of all ages and backgrounds in foster care who are looking for their forever family, and you don't need thousands of dollars in order to become a foster child's forever family, you just need to have a loving heart and an open home.  

2. Adoption Is About Loving a Child, Not Saving a Child 

Next, if you are thinking about adopting a child, you need to make sure that you check your expectations. Don't view adopting a child as a project to take on. When you are adopting a child, you are not saving a child, you are giving a child a home, and you are saying that you will love and cherish the child as your own.

Don't go into adoption expecting to get anything out of the process other than a child that you can love, regardless of what happens. Having this type of mindset can help set you up for the challenges that come with adoption. The child that you adopt is just like any other child; you are going to have awesome moments and tough moments.

You should not expect the child to show you appreciation for adopting them and "saving them"; you should expect to have a normal parenting relationship, where appreciation for what it takes to raise a child is usually reserved until your child grows up and starts having children of their own. 

Having the right expectations going into the adoption process can make being an adoptive parent easier.  

3. Adoption Counseling Is Smart 

Finally, you should go through counseling if you want to adopt. Going through counseling will help you and your partner figure out your expectations and motivations for adopting a child. Counseling can help you work through any insecurities you or your partner may have about not being the child's birth parent. Counseling can also help you talk about and discover your parenting philosophies before your child arrives. 

If you have other children in your home already, counseling can be a great way to help prepare everyone in the family for the arrival of a new sister or brother. If you are adopting an older child, counseling can also help them adjust to having a forever family.  

Adoption doesn't have to be an expensive process. Adoption is about loving a child, and giving them everything you can, without expectation of appreciation or anything in return. Before going through adoption, go through some pre-counseling, so you are more ready for the experience that is before you.  

Reach out to a local service for unplanned pregnancy adoption resources.